Be there.
Say yes as often as possible.
Let them bang on pots and pans.
If they're crabby, put them in water.
If they're unlovable, love yourself.
Realize how important it is to be a child.
Go to a movie theatre in your pajamas.
Read books out loud with joy.
Invent pleasures together.
Remember how really small they are.
Giggle a lot.
Surprise them.
Say no when necessary.
Teach feelings.
Heal your own inner child.
Learn about parenting.
Hug trees together.
Make loving safe.
Bake a cake and eat it with no hands.
Go find elephants and kiss them.
Plan to build a rocketship.
Imagine yourself magic.
Make lots of forts with blankets.
Reveal your own dreams.
Search out the positive.
Keep the gleam in your eye.
Mail letters to God.
Encourage silly.
Plant licorice in your garden.
Open up.
Stop yelling.
Express love.
A lot.
Speak kindly.
Paint their tennis shoes.
Handle with caring.
Children are miraculous.
I don't know who wrote this, but I like it. Sometimes I take parenting too seriously. While I know parenting is a serious venture, it doesn't mean I can't smile and have silly, ridiculous fun with my daughter in the process. I want to try to do better at this.
I want my daughter to picture me as always having a smile on my face and a love for life no matter what comes my way.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Valentine Surprise
Surprisingly, this past weekend turned into a very nice Valentine's celebration. I thought Valentine's weekend was going to consist of me accompanying a friend on a trip to South Dakota Saturday morning through Sunday afternoon, a quick dinner with my husband Sunday night (and possibly my daughter since babysitters are scarce then), nannying Monday morning (which I usually don't do on Mondays) while my husband watched a little boy from our church for me (which I usually do on Mondays), class Monday night, and trying to write a paper in there somewhere. Whew!
But...
I found out on Tuesday that we would not be taking the trip to S. Dakota after all.
And then...
I found out on Friday that I would not be needed to nanny on Monday.
Those were enough changes to our schedule to get me all excited and thinking that I was going to plan a surprise get-away for my husband.
Well, you don't usually get released from two major duties like that in a row, so you've got to take advantage of that when you can.
What I failed to think about was that it wasn't going to be a walk in the park getting this little idea of mine together.
The first thing I had to do was find an over-night sitter. I tried calling my sister, even though I knew that she probably would have made plans with her husband for that night, plus her daughter would have school the next day. But Surprise! She was free to watch Allika and her daughter was out of school for President's Day. Yay!
Now, I had to make reservations at a Bed and Breakfast the Saturday before Valentine's Day. Yeah right! The first few places I tried to reserve were full. I finally found a room, and it was even less expensive than I thought it would be. It was in a historical building, furnished with antiques, and containing a jacuzzi tub. I was so happy!
I wasn't able to make reservations at the Melting Pot, which is where I really, really wanted to go, but I got in at Fogo De Chao. That's a really neat experience, too.
All I had left to do (I thought) was to keep it a secret from Van. That didn't happen too well. Thanks to a seven-year-old daughter and a husband who had to go and try to make his own Valentine's plans for me, he found out that I was planning a surprise, over-night get-away. I was still able to keep the destination a secret, though.
You are not going to believe this, but I totally forgot all about the little boy we were supposed to watch on Monday. After I had made all these plans and was starting to get really excited about the way everything was falling into place on such short notice, I suddenly remembered.
Now what?
I couldn't cancel reservations without losing money because it was less than 24 hours now.
I knew it was my own fault for forgetting, and I had nothing more to do than chin up, be responsible, and let the consequences fall where they may.
I decided to call and see if there was any way it would even be possible for me to be gone Monday morning. It was worth a try.
Lo and behold! Her kids were out of school on Monday, so they would be able to stay with him during the morning and I would come pick him up when we were done with our little excursion.
Phew! Now we were all set.
Nope.
It wasn't until Sunday morning that I remembered that I needed to find someone to watch our dog. She has to take two pills a day or she will have seizures, so it was very important that I find someone to take care of her. A couple from our church graciously agreed to keep her at the very last minute.
The final thing I had to make sure was done before we left was write my paper. It was due by class time Monday night and I wouldn't have much time to write it between coming home and watching the little boy.
Thankfully, I got it written.
After all that scurrying around and stressing out, we had a wonderful, marvelous, phenomenal, and amazing time together. We played games, did some antique shopping, discovered a great new Mexican restaurant (of which we are connoisseurs), watched some of the winter Olympics, enjoyed the hot tub, tried a new culinary experience at Fogo De Chao, and just had fun visiting with each other. It was a much-needed and hard-to-come-by reprieve from all the hustle and bustle of our crazy lives.
I would really recommend a little time away for every married couple. If you say you are just too busy to make it happen, that probably means it's imperative that you do.
But...
I found out on Tuesday that we would not be taking the trip to S. Dakota after all.
And then...
I found out on Friday that I would not be needed to nanny on Monday.
Those were enough changes to our schedule to get me all excited and thinking that I was going to plan a surprise get-away for my husband.
Well, you don't usually get released from two major duties like that in a row, so you've got to take advantage of that when you can.
What I failed to think about was that it wasn't going to be a walk in the park getting this little idea of mine together.
The first thing I had to do was find an over-night sitter. I tried calling my sister, even though I knew that she probably would have made plans with her husband for that night, plus her daughter would have school the next day. But Surprise! She was free to watch Allika and her daughter was out of school for President's Day. Yay!
Now, I had to make reservations at a Bed and Breakfast the Saturday before Valentine's Day. Yeah right! The first few places I tried to reserve were full. I finally found a room, and it was even less expensive than I thought it would be. It was in a historical building, furnished with antiques, and containing a jacuzzi tub. I was so happy!
I wasn't able to make reservations at the Melting Pot, which is where I really, really wanted to go, but I got in at Fogo De Chao. That's a really neat experience, too.
All I had left to do (I thought) was to keep it a secret from Van. That didn't happen too well. Thanks to a seven-year-old daughter and a husband who had to go and try to make his own Valentine's plans for me, he found out that I was planning a surprise, over-night get-away. I was still able to keep the destination a secret, though.
You are not going to believe this, but I totally forgot all about the little boy we were supposed to watch on Monday. After I had made all these plans and was starting to get really excited about the way everything was falling into place on such short notice, I suddenly remembered.
Now what?
I couldn't cancel reservations without losing money because it was less than 24 hours now.
I knew it was my own fault for forgetting, and I had nothing more to do than chin up, be responsible, and let the consequences fall where they may.
I decided to call and see if there was any way it would even be possible for me to be gone Monday morning. It was worth a try.
Lo and behold! Her kids were out of school on Monday, so they would be able to stay with him during the morning and I would come pick him up when we were done with our little excursion.
Phew! Now we were all set.
Nope.
It wasn't until Sunday morning that I remembered that I needed to find someone to watch our dog. She has to take two pills a day or she will have seizures, so it was very important that I find someone to take care of her. A couple from our church graciously agreed to keep her at the very last minute.
The final thing I had to make sure was done before we left was write my paper. It was due by class time Monday night and I wouldn't have much time to write it between coming home and watching the little boy.
Thankfully, I got it written.
After all that scurrying around and stressing out, we had a wonderful, marvelous, phenomenal, and amazing time together. We played games, did some antique shopping, discovered a great new Mexican restaurant (of which we are connoisseurs), watched some of the winter Olympics, enjoyed the hot tub, tried a new culinary experience at Fogo De Chao, and just had fun visiting with each other. It was a much-needed and hard-to-come-by reprieve from all the hustle and bustle of our crazy lives.
I would really recommend a little time away for every married couple. If you say you are just too busy to make it happen, that probably means it's imperative that you do.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Seven
Labels:
Allika,
Motherhood
My daughter turned 7 on January 29th. I guess seven is the stage where they are sort of caught between wanting to stay a little child and wanting to be an older child. The other day Allika got dressed very carefully and deliberately and then came out and asked me if she looked like a teenager. It kind of bothered me. I didn't like it that she was growing up. I didn't want her thinking about fashion and looking older than she is. She is supposed to be my little girl.
A short time later though, she was bumping elbows with a puppet and catching her wiggles in her hands to tie them up and put them in her pocket. Back to her old self.
I know growing up can be a little difficult on her, too. There is such a hard-to-find balance between being too little and being too grown-up. She pushes me away so that she can be independent, and then, calls me back because she needs me again.
I guess this is what the next several years will be: me watching her grow up too fast and trying desperately to slow things down, but all the while, knowing this is the way it's supposed to be and hoping and trusting that, by the grace of God, we have given her the tools she needs to go to the next level of life.
(Whew! What a nice, long, emotional run-on sentence that was!)
(Now, on to things a few feet closer to the surface.)
We had a little party at the Nature Center with some of her friends and family. My brother and his family came up from Centerville, IA to help us celebrate. It was very nice getting to see them and knowing that they had come so far to be with us. My sister and her family were also there, along with several good friends. It was so much fun.
We did an animal theme, so I had the kids do a little "animal hunt" where they found all the animals I had hidden. For prizes, I went to Half-Price Books (love that store!) and bought a bunch of brand new children's books about animals for .50 cents each. They were all different, and the kids loved picking out which one they wanted.
Allika made brownies for her birthday cake. I decorated it with my sweet decorating skills (ha ha).
The Nature Center did a presentation on the different adaptations of amphibians and reptiles and then brought out several different animals for the kids to touch and hold and learn about.
I think everybody had a lot of fun, and Allika got some really neat projects and things that she has been enjoying.
(The sign that greeted us as we walked into the room)
(Allika and several of her friends, waiting for the festivities to begin)
(Allika and her cousin, Tea, dressing up as reptiles and amphibians to show their different adaptations)
(The kids, observing a snake)
In the next few days, I will be sharing about what she bought with all her birthday money. Joy of joys!
A short time later though, she was bumping elbows with a puppet and catching her wiggles in her hands to tie them up and put them in her pocket. Back to her old self.
I know growing up can be a little difficult on her, too. There is such a hard-to-find balance between being too little and being too grown-up. She pushes me away so that she can be independent, and then, calls me back because she needs me again.
I guess this is what the next several years will be: me watching her grow up too fast and trying desperately to slow things down, but all the while, knowing this is the way it's supposed to be and hoping and trusting that, by the grace of God, we have given her the tools she needs to go to the next level of life.
(Whew! What a nice, long, emotional run-on sentence that was!)
(Now, on to things a few feet closer to the surface.)
We had a little party at the Nature Center with some of her friends and family. My brother and his family came up from Centerville, IA to help us celebrate. It was very nice getting to see them and knowing that they had come so far to be with us. My sister and her family were also there, along with several good friends. It was so much fun.
We did an animal theme, so I had the kids do a little "animal hunt" where they found all the animals I had hidden. For prizes, I went to Half-Price Books (love that store!) and bought a bunch of brand new children's books about animals for .50 cents each. They were all different, and the kids loved picking out which one they wanted.
Allika made brownies for her birthday cake. I decorated it with my sweet decorating skills (ha ha).
The Nature Center did a presentation on the different adaptations of amphibians and reptiles and then brought out several different animals for the kids to touch and hold and learn about.
I think everybody had a lot of fun, and Allika got some really neat projects and things that she has been enjoying.
(The sign that greeted us as we walked into the room)
(Allika and several of her friends, waiting for the festivities to begin)
(Allika and her cousin, Tea, dressing up as reptiles and amphibians to show their different adaptations)
(The kids, observing a snake)
In the next few days, I will be sharing about what she bought with all her birthday money. Joy of joys!
Saturday, January 30, 2010
If It Were a Snake, It Would Have Bit Me
Labels:
Life and God
The other day, Allika and I were headed to the store together. As we were walking through the parking lot, we passed a lady with her arms full of groceries. Just as we met, she dropped one of her bags and cans of pop went rolling across the parking lot.
I'm sure you all are waiting for me to say that I used it as an opportunity to teach my daughter about helping others, and we happily bent down and began picking up the cans for the lady.
But I did not.
What went through my head was, "Oh, she must be so embarrassed. I will pretend like I didn't see and keep on walking. If I make a big deal about it, it might humiliate her further."
When we got to the door of the store, Allika looked up at me, very concerned and upset, and said, "Mom, why didn't we help that lady?"
I turned around and saw that several other people from other areas of the parking lot had surrounded her and were helping her pick everything up and load it in her car. I had been standing right next to her and hadn't lifted a finger.
At that moment, all my reasoning for the choice I had made to keep walking seemed so silly and stupid, and I just felt awful.
Not only had I set a bad example for my daughter, but I had missed an opportunity to make someone's day better...to make a small difference in someone's life.
I am always thinking about how much I want to change the world and make a huge impact on humanity. I feel like my existence is for the purpose of making a difference. The problem is that I look for the big splashes that I can make. I am constantly looking for a program or organization I can help or oversee. That has yet to materialize, however.
Sometimes the time and effort it takes trying to promote the right ministry keeps me from noticing each individual person and considering how I can make their life a little easier.
I have heard that my life is like $1,000,000 dollars. Spending that money is the mark I will leave on humanity. There are three ways I can handle my potential impact: keep it all to myself and not spend much of it on anyone else; spend it all in one huge, life-changing display of self-sacrifice; or spend it slowly and quietly over the course of my life on each situation in which I recognize a need.
So many of us are looking for ways we can lay it all down at once and go out with a bang. In reality, there are only a few that will be called to spend their $1,000,000 dollars in that way. For the rest of us, we will be asked to spend a dollar here and ten dollars over there. Our impact will be the phone calls we make to a lonely widow, the visits we share with a sick senior citizen, the rides we give to someone without a vehicle, the babysitting we provide for a single mother, the physical touch we extend to a mentally handicapped person, the hospitality we bestow on a homeless family, the meal we make for a college student, the games we play with our children, or the pies we bake for our enemies.
Of course, those things aren't as flashy and recognizable. They may not win us any awards or get our names engraved on any plaques. But Jesus promised us something even greater.
"...I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." Matthew 25:40
"But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." Matthew 6:3-4
"...whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant,..." Matthew 20:26
"But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. The your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked." Luke 6:35
"And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward." Matthew 10:42
I am not belittling anyone's intentions to do something big like becoming a missionary, helping out in a third world country, running an orphanage, or founding a life-changing ministry. It's just that for me, I can wait and wait for those types of opportunities all my life and miss the very real needs right in front of my nose because they seem so small.
I was reminded of that the other day when I walked right by the lady who had dropped her groceries all over the parking lot.
I'm sure you all are waiting for me to say that I used it as an opportunity to teach my daughter about helping others, and we happily bent down and began picking up the cans for the lady.
But I did not.
What went through my head was, "Oh, she must be so embarrassed. I will pretend like I didn't see and keep on walking. If I make a big deal about it, it might humiliate her further."
When we got to the door of the store, Allika looked up at me, very concerned and upset, and said, "Mom, why didn't we help that lady?"
I turned around and saw that several other people from other areas of the parking lot had surrounded her and were helping her pick everything up and load it in her car. I had been standing right next to her and hadn't lifted a finger.
At that moment, all my reasoning for the choice I had made to keep walking seemed so silly and stupid, and I just felt awful.
Not only had I set a bad example for my daughter, but I had missed an opportunity to make someone's day better...to make a small difference in someone's life.
I am always thinking about how much I want to change the world and make a huge impact on humanity. I feel like my existence is for the purpose of making a difference. The problem is that I look for the big splashes that I can make. I am constantly looking for a program or organization I can help or oversee. That has yet to materialize, however.
Sometimes the time and effort it takes trying to promote the right ministry keeps me from noticing each individual person and considering how I can make their life a little easier.
I have heard that my life is like $1,000,000 dollars. Spending that money is the mark I will leave on humanity. There are three ways I can handle my potential impact: keep it all to myself and not spend much of it on anyone else; spend it all in one huge, life-changing display of self-sacrifice; or spend it slowly and quietly over the course of my life on each situation in which I recognize a need.
So many of us are looking for ways we can lay it all down at once and go out with a bang. In reality, there are only a few that will be called to spend their $1,000,000 dollars in that way. For the rest of us, we will be asked to spend a dollar here and ten dollars over there. Our impact will be the phone calls we make to a lonely widow, the visits we share with a sick senior citizen, the rides we give to someone without a vehicle, the babysitting we provide for a single mother, the physical touch we extend to a mentally handicapped person, the hospitality we bestow on a homeless family, the meal we make for a college student, the games we play with our children, or the pies we bake for our enemies.
Of course, those things aren't as flashy and recognizable. They may not win us any awards or get our names engraved on any plaques. But Jesus promised us something even greater.
"...I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." Matthew 25:40
"But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." Matthew 6:3-4
"...whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant,..." Matthew 20:26
"But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. The your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked." Luke 6:35
"And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward." Matthew 10:42
I am not belittling anyone's intentions to do something big like becoming a missionary, helping out in a third world country, running an orphanage, or founding a life-changing ministry. It's just that for me, I can wait and wait for those types of opportunities all my life and miss the very real needs right in front of my nose because they seem so small.
I was reminded of that the other day when I walked right by the lady who had dropped her groceries all over the parking lot.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Need to Do: Learn Patience
Labels:
Adoption
Yes, we are still trying to adopt. As we get closer to March, we get closer to a lot of our paperwork expiring and the need to have to redo and update most of it. It can get very frustrating since this will be the beginning of our third year of paperwork. (The first year was grossly mishandled by our case worker. We got a new and wonderful case worker last year, and now, we begin another year with her.) We will also have to go through twelve more hours of education.
A few months back, I was trying to locate a specific e-mail from our adoption agency. To my surprise, I found an e-mail that I had never seen or opened, which is really strange because I check every day for e-mails from the adoption agency. Really strange. It was about three weeks old. When I opened it, I felt my body just go weak because our case worker was asking us if we would be interested in submitting our home study for two sisters who were three and four years old.
"YES, YES, YES!!!" I wrote back. But it was too late.
I was so upset and disappointed about that. I actually had a little talk with God. I said, "You KNEW I wanted those girls!"
Van said God was not surprised by that e-mail. He had known about it all along.
The following Monday, I got another e-mail from our case worker. This time I opened it right away, and she was asking to submit our case study for a little girl named Karianna. Her nick-name is Kari.
I was so excited because somewhere in my mind, I thought this must be the reason why I didn't get the last e-mail in time. Kari must be the one we are meant to adopt.
Silly me.
A few weeks later we got another letter, telling us we had been selected as one of the final 15 families to be reviewed for the possibility of becoming Kari's family.
Excitement. Maybe this will be it!
Two months later and we have not been chosen.
Somehow knowing her name makes it harder. I kept thinking, "Kari." I would think of her name and picture her face. It kind of led to me imagining her as our daughter. You can't help it. When you are waiting and waiting for something, and you think it might finally become a reality, you start to let your mind imagine it happening, even though you try to tell yourself not to.
I guess that's why we try to stay pretty emotionally neutral. Sometimes you let your imagination get a little too carried away, though.
So, we're coming up on another year of more paperwork and more classes. We keep filling those forms out and signing up for those classes because we know that someday there will be a match. Our daughter is out there waiting, perhaps just as skeptically, for a mom and dad who think the world of her, a sister who will smother her and drive her insane, and a home that isn't perfect by any means but is full of grace and love.
A few months back, I was trying to locate a specific e-mail from our adoption agency. To my surprise, I found an e-mail that I had never seen or opened, which is really strange because I check every day for e-mails from the adoption agency. Really strange. It was about three weeks old. When I opened it, I felt my body just go weak because our case worker was asking us if we would be interested in submitting our home study for two sisters who were three and four years old.
"YES, YES, YES!!!" I wrote back. But it was too late.
I was so upset and disappointed about that. I actually had a little talk with God. I said, "You KNEW I wanted those girls!"
Van said God was not surprised by that e-mail. He had known about it all along.
The following Monday, I got another e-mail from our case worker. This time I opened it right away, and she was asking to submit our case study for a little girl named Karianna. Her nick-name is Kari.
I was so excited because somewhere in my mind, I thought this must be the reason why I didn't get the last e-mail in time. Kari must be the one we are meant to adopt.
Silly me.
A few weeks later we got another letter, telling us we had been selected as one of the final 15 families to be reviewed for the possibility of becoming Kari's family.
Excitement. Maybe this will be it!
Two months later and we have not been chosen.
Somehow knowing her name makes it harder. I kept thinking, "Kari." I would think of her name and picture her face. It kind of led to me imagining her as our daughter. You can't help it. When you are waiting and waiting for something, and you think it might finally become a reality, you start to let your mind imagine it happening, even though you try to tell yourself not to.
I guess that's why we try to stay pretty emotionally neutral. Sometimes you let your imagination get a little too carried away, though.
So, we're coming up on another year of more paperwork and more classes. We keep filling those forms out and signing up for those classes because we know that someday there will be a match. Our daughter is out there waiting, perhaps just as skeptically, for a mom and dad who think the world of her, a sister who will smother her and drive her insane, and a home that isn't perfect by any means but is full of grace and love.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Life in the Form of a List
Labels:
Allika,
Friends,
Thyroid Cancer
Here are some of the things that have been going on in the last couple of weeks. I am not guaranteeing the intrigue of any of them. This is just our life on the surface.
1.)Three birthday parties and one baby shower in 2 weeks. One of them is Allika's, so I have to do a little planning and organizing for that. I'm not going to do a ton because I tried the whole "do-it-yourself" party last year, and it was quite the disaster. Instead, we are having it at the Nature Center and letting them do most of the entertaining.
2.)Taking Allika to a variety of fun, learning experiences. Some of the ones I can remember right now off the top of my head are the physics circus, story time at the library, and tomorrow night I will be taking her to the Children's Theatre to see Mr. McGee and the Biting Flea. A friend gave us tickets for our birthdays. Sounds like fun.
(One of the demonstrations at the Physics Circus. They did a lot of really great science experiments on a level that would help kids want to learn more.)
3.)Learning that the friend I told you about earlier who had lung cancer has another malignant tumor in her lung. It is inoperable since it is close to some major arteries. She will have to undergo chemo and radiation. These are the times in my life when I feel so helpless and inadequate. I want so badly to say and do the right things, but I don't know what they are.
4.)Getting really, really sick for about a week. I went to the doctor, and they said it was a virus. It really wiped me out for a while there. I kept running a fever off and on and couldn't swallow because it hurt so badly, even when I took an ibuprofen.
5.)Pretending to work on my homework for my classes which start February 1st. I'm excited to be learning the things I actually went to school to learn and not all the general stuff that isn't as fascinating to me.
6.)Having my thyroid medication increased for the third time since my thyroidectomy. It still isn't as high as it's supposed to be. I will have it tested again in 5 weeks. I would like to think my low thyroid levels might be to blame for the 10 pounds I've gained, but I'm sure it really has something to do with the holidays and my sick love of chocolate.
7.)Cheering on the Vikings as they get closer and closer to the Super Bowl. I'm really not a huge football person. In fact, I have always made fun of my husband for his allegiance to a team that couldn't care less whether or not he existed. This year, however, I kind of got caught up in the spirit. I'll go back to my ridiculing ways soon enough, but in the meantime, I'm enjoying the excitement while it lasts.
Skol Vikings!!
1.)Three birthday parties and one baby shower in 2 weeks. One of them is Allika's, so I have to do a little planning and organizing for that. I'm not going to do a ton because I tried the whole "do-it-yourself" party last year, and it was quite the disaster. Instead, we are having it at the Nature Center and letting them do most of the entertaining.
2.)Taking Allika to a variety of fun, learning experiences. Some of the ones I can remember right now off the top of my head are the physics circus, story time at the library, and tomorrow night I will be taking her to the Children's Theatre to see Mr. McGee and the Biting Flea. A friend gave us tickets for our birthdays. Sounds like fun.
(One of the demonstrations at the Physics Circus. They did a lot of really great science experiments on a level that would help kids want to learn more.)
3.)Learning that the friend I told you about earlier who had lung cancer has another malignant tumor in her lung. It is inoperable since it is close to some major arteries. She will have to undergo chemo and radiation. These are the times in my life when I feel so helpless and inadequate. I want so badly to say and do the right things, but I don't know what they are.
4.)Getting really, really sick for about a week. I went to the doctor, and they said it was a virus. It really wiped me out for a while there. I kept running a fever off and on and couldn't swallow because it hurt so badly, even when I took an ibuprofen.
5.)Pretending to work on my homework for my classes which start February 1st. I'm excited to be learning the things I actually went to school to learn and not all the general stuff that isn't as fascinating to me.
6.)Having my thyroid medication increased for the third time since my thyroidectomy. It still isn't as high as it's supposed to be. I will have it tested again in 5 weeks. I would like to think my low thyroid levels might be to blame for the 10 pounds I've gained, but I'm sure it really has something to do with the holidays and my sick love of chocolate.
7.)Cheering on the Vikings as they get closer and closer to the Super Bowl. I'm really not a huge football person. In fact, I have always made fun of my husband for his allegiance to a team that couldn't care less whether or not he existed. This year, however, I kind of got caught up in the spirit. I'll go back to my ridiculing ways soon enough, but in the meantime, I'm enjoying the excitement while it lasts.
Skol Vikings!!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Questions
Labels:
Life and God,
Ministry,
Poetry and Music
What am I accomplishing? Am I making any difference for anyone? Are we all supposed to make a big splash, but some of us just never achieve our potential? Or are some of us destined to never see huge results but required to remain faithful? How do you know you have done enough and it is time to move on? How do you know you're supposed to stay and measure success by how faithful you are rather than by how many results you see? Is the effect I have on others an indication of the legitimacy of my call? When people stop appreciating my efforts have I lost my ability to produce a positive, substantial difference? Do I do what I know is right to do, even if it is misunderstood as wrong?
Sometimes it is hard to take one step at a time, not knowing if I'm headed in the right direction. It's a little disconcerting to have to just trust that the one who is holding my hand in the dark is going to lead me to the place where it will all make sense.
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers."
Galatians 6:9-10
A Hint of Life? By Amy Carmichael
We only see the scorching earth.
Lord of the seed, we cry,
Our sowing seemeth little worth
In ground so dry.
But if the eyes of angels see
Some hint of tender green,
Anoint our eyes that they may be
As angels', keen.
O mighty Quickener of the dead,
Dost Thou see life astir?
Dost Thou see harvest gold outspread,
As though it were?
Sometimes it is hard to take one step at a time, not knowing if I'm headed in the right direction. It's a little disconcerting to have to just trust that the one who is holding my hand in the dark is going to lead me to the place where it will all make sense.
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers."
Galatians 6:9-10
A Hint of Life? By Amy Carmichael
We only see the scorching earth.
Lord of the seed, we cry,
Our sowing seemeth little worth
In ground so dry.
But if the eyes of angels see
Some hint of tender green,
Anoint our eyes that they may be
As angels', keen.
O mighty Quickener of the dead,
Dost Thou see life astir?
Dost Thou see harvest gold outspread,
As though it were?
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