Thanks To My Husband...

...here is a glimpse of some of our experiences over the last two weeks.


Allika, at the zoo with her friends, Skyelynn and Morgan


Sitting on a turtle






An Easter egg hunt in our backyard with Allika, Tea, Avery, Joy, and Kenny


First day of school


Trip to Duluth: Allika, throwing rocks into Lake Superior






Allika and Van at Lake Superior


Allika, chasing sea gulls


View from Enger Tower


Enger Tower


Climbing down from Enger Tower


View from the ledge


Silly People


Allika, at her first Art Fair...can you tell she didn't want her picture taken?


Allika, in front of her locker








Allika, having fun at her school playground

Valentine Surprise

Surprisingly, this past weekend turned into a very nice Valentine's celebration. I thought Valentine's weekend was going to consist of me accompanying a friend on a trip to South Dakota Saturday morning through Sunday afternoon, a quick dinner with my husband Sunday night (and possibly my daughter since babysitters are scarce then), nannying Monday morning (which I usually don't do on Mondays) while my husband watched a little boy from our church for me (which I usually do on Mondays), class Monday night, and trying to write a paper in there somewhere. Whew!

But...

I found out on Tuesday that we would not be taking the trip to S. Dakota after all.

And then...

I found out on Friday that I would not be needed to nanny on Monday.

Those were enough changes to our schedule to get me all excited and thinking that I was going to plan a surprise get-away for my husband.

Well, you don't usually get released from two major duties like that in a row, so you've got to take advantage of that when you can.

What I failed to think about was that it wasn't going to be a walk in the park getting this little idea of mine together.

The first thing I had to do was find an over-night sitter. I tried calling my sister, even though I knew that she probably would have made plans with her husband for that night, plus her daughter would have school the next day. But Surprise! She was free to watch Allika and her daughter was out of school for President's Day. Yay!

Now, I had to make reservations at a Bed and Breakfast the Saturday before Valentine's Day. Yeah right! The first few places I tried to reserve were full. I finally found a room, and it was even less expensive than I thought it would be. It was in a historical building, furnished with antiques, and containing a jacuzzi tub. I was so happy!

I wasn't able to make reservations at the Melting Pot, which is where I really, really wanted to go, but I got in at Fogo De Chao. That's a really neat experience, too.

All I had left to do (I thought) was to keep it a secret from Van. That didn't happen too well. Thanks to a seven-year-old daughter and a husband who had to go and try to make his own Valentine's plans for me, he found out that I was planning a surprise, over-night get-away. I was still able to keep the destination a secret, though.

You are not going to believe this, but I totally forgot all about the little boy we were supposed to watch on Monday. After I had made all these plans and was starting to get really excited about the way everything was falling into place on such short notice, I suddenly remembered.

Now what?

I couldn't cancel reservations without losing money because it was less than 24 hours now.

I knew it was my own fault for forgetting, and I had nothing more to do than chin up, be responsible, and let the consequences fall where they may.

I decided to call and see if there was any way it would even be possible for me to be gone Monday morning. It was worth a try.

Lo and behold! Her kids were out of school on Monday, so they would be able to stay with him during the morning and I would come pick him up when we were done with our little excursion.

Phew! Now we were all set.

Nope.

It wasn't until Sunday morning that I remembered that I needed to find someone to watch our dog. She has to take two pills a day or she will have seizures, so it was very important that I find someone to take care of her. A couple from our church graciously agreed to keep her at the very last minute.

The final thing I had to make sure was done before we left was write my paper. It was due by class time Monday night and I wouldn't have much time to write it between coming home and watching the little boy.

Thankfully, I got it written.

After all that scurrying around and stressing out, we had a wonderful, marvelous, phenomenal, and amazing time together. We played games, did some antique shopping, discovered a great new Mexican restaurant (of which we are connoisseurs), watched some of the winter Olympics, enjoyed the hot tub, tried a new culinary experience at Fogo De Chao, and just had fun visiting with each other. It was a much-needed and hard-to-come-by reprieve from all the hustle and bustle of our crazy lives.

I would really recommend a little time away for every married couple. If you say you are just too busy to make it happen, that probably means it's imperative that you do.

Eleven Years and Counting

Here we are. You and me. The same two lovers who pledged our lives to each other with stars in our eyes and big dreams in our hearts.

And while the years have seen some of those dreams come true, these years have also opened our eyes to the reality that marriage takes work, patience, and the kind of love that stays true, no matter what.

Here we are. You and me. Celebrating another year of loving and living and learning. Another year of working to make this life together the best it can be.

And I just want you to know that I believe in us. I believe in our love, and I believe in the strength and the beauty that come from sharing life's joys and weathering its storms...together.

You are my love, and when I pledged my life to you, I said forever...

I still do.

(This was the card I gave Van today for our Anniversary. I couldn't have said it better...I'm so in love with him!)

A List of Adventures

There are times when I think I would really like to live out in the country on a large plot of land and just enjoy life from that perspective. The last few weeks have shown me that there are some great advantages to living in a big city, though. There are so many things to do and a lot of them are free. It's been so fun spending time together doing some of those things over the past several weeks.

I am thankful to be a part of a really great home-school coop. One of the things we've done recently is go on a field trip with the rest of the group to the Science Museum. They're having an exhibit on the Titanic right now. We got to see the exhibit and the Imax film on the Titanic, and Allika loved it. She also got to experience the rest of the museum which is hands-on science. I should be honest with you here and let you know that she is not the most focused person. She takes after her mother who does not like to spend a lot of time absorbing one thing when there's so much else to see and do. Poor Van has no hope. He likes to stay at one little, tiny display until he has processed all the information there is to process and then some. Ahh! It just drives me crazy. We are not the cute, little couple walking through the museum, holding hands and discussing what we are seeing. We are the guy who gets very annoyed at the girl for being so impatient and the girl who gets very frustrated at the guy for always being about 25 exhibits behind when there are still 1,000 more things to see. It's very romantic.


Sorry my pictures are blurry. This is the science guy doing his thing. Very cool.


Allika and her friend in front of an iceberg display.

(Wow! Really blurry pictures. Apparently, I don't like standing still in front of a display long enough to take a picture either.)

Another thing we did recently was attend a free college symphony concert that was performing "Peter and the Wolf." They really tried to make it for the children, so they had an instrument "petting zoo" before hand, where the kids could play all the symphony instruments. They also had a little craft and snacks for everyone. It was very nice, and Allika really enjoyed it. The conductor was so cool with the kids. He told them he needed them to help him conduct the symphony for one song, showed them what it involved, and then stepped back and had all the kids in the audience "conduct" for him. It was so cute to see Allika get jiggy with it when the music got really loud and exciting. Van and I were laughing. She kept looking over at us and telling us to stop laughing. It was really hard.

For their performance of "Peter and the Wolf," they had their Opera professor come out and read the story while they showed pictures of it up on the screen. It really made the music come alive for Allika and helped her to appreciate all the instruments and what message they were trying to convey. I was very impressed with everything they did that night.







We also got to go to the free Christian Community Fair last week. It was fun to see all the different Christian ministries in the Twin Cities and learn about the various ways we could get involved. Of course, I wanted to volunteer for everything from mentoring victims of domestic violence to building houses for Habitat for Humanity. Van kind of has to keep me in check because I'm a little unrealistic when it comes to how many more things I can fit into my schedule. What I was really looking for was something we could all do together as a family. I did find some things, so I will be looking into them and keeping you posted.

They had a lot of fun things for the kids, so Allika got to ride a pony for the first time, catch a fish for the first time, jump on the inflatables and do the inflatable obstacle courses, enjoy the petting zoo, see a real bald eagle up close, go on a treasure hunt that she never finished, and a few other things.







Our adoption agency also put on a "Circus of the Heart" for people who are waiting to adopt or who have already adopted. It's just pretty much a big carnival. I thought it would be something that provided more information and opportunities for networking with case-workers. It was fun, though, so I'm not complaining. I always like to do fun things with the family, especially when they're free.

The last recent event I will tell you about was really neat because Allika and Van got to do it together as their date on Tuesday night while I was at school. We are really trying to help her be more outward focused during the holidays instead of just thinking about herself and all her wants. There are several things we are tying to do to accomplish that, and maybe I'll write about them sometime, but one of the things we're doing is looking for service projects we can do for those who don't have all the advantages we have during the holidays. That is why, on Tuesday night, Van and Allika were found making Christmas cards to send to the orphans who don't get any cards during Christmas. It was another event our adoption agency sponsored, and both Allika and Van really thought it was a lot of fun. Allika did find that she is more creative than Van when it comes to making cards.





Anyway, those are some of the things we've been enjoying together lately. I still wouldn't mind living out in the country someday, but until then, I can enjoy whatever I'm doing, wherever I'm doing it as long as I can spend time with my wonderful family...even going to the museum.

Thanksgiving

I Thessalonians 5:18 says, "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

I know this is the time of year we start thinking more about being thankful, and I think it's a really good idea to have an official time to focus more on all the blessings we have. It's not just a silly platitude when people say that making a list of all you have to be thankful for really changes your whole perspective on life.

One year, I made a little "Thanksgiving Tree." I just got a branch, decorated it, and tied some yarn all over it. Then, I got little pieces of paper and punched holes in them. Everyone was supposed to write down something they were thankful for and tie it to the tree. There was a catch, though. Instead of writing good things they were thankful for, they had to write about things that seemed negative at the time but turned out good in the long run. I thought it turned out really neat to read all about the hard things we had all gone through, knowing we could recognize the good in them.

That's what the verse in I Thessalonians says. It doesn't just say to give thanks; it says to give thanks in all circumstances. That is what can be really hard sometimes. It is easy to thank God for the good things, but do we thank him for the hard times also? It is in the hard times that we are strengthened and caused to grow (James 1:2-4).

In light of these things, I thought I would make a list of what I am thankful for this year, but instead of all the nice things (and there have been boat-loads of those), I thought I would write why I'm thankful for all the tough things we have been through.

1.) I am thankful for...a decrease in income due to Van's losing a part-time position...because it has freed up our schedule a little more and allowed us to be more creative in how we spend our money.

2.) I am thankful for...having ten people choose to place their fellowship with a different church after years of working together and building relationships...because it has caused us to be really introspective about who we are and why we are in the ministry; it has challenged us to be faithful; it has shown us ways that we need to improve; and it has caused us to see the potential in people we were overlooking because we were so focused on the ones we thought would stay and be the pillars.

3.) I am thankful for...being diagnosed with cancer...because it made me think about death and the legacy I wanted to leave behind; it showed me the sweetness and support of my family, church, and friends; it gave me a new perspective on what it's like to have cancer and not know what the outcome will be; and it made me appreciate what I've got even if it's not always what I want.

4.) I am thankful for...having to make some tough decisions about our daughter's emotional health...because it has helped us not to be so judgmental of other parents because we may not know everything that's going on behind the scenes; it has opened the doors to discuss some very deep truths with our daughter that most parents will not get to discuss with their children until they're much older; it has made us have to confront some of the unhealthy and untrue things that we were telling ourselves while we thought we were being perfectly rational.

5.) I am thankful for...the difficult navigation of the adoption process and that we are still waiting for that match...because there is a special child out there somewhere waiting for the love our family can give, and all the time it is taking to bring us together is just preparing our hearts for the perfect moment when the child we've been praying for becomes a part of our family.

So, whether you write a list of all the good things you're thankful for or all the not-so-good things you're thankful for, take the time to notice what God is doing in you're life. He is accomplishing great things in you, even when you may not feel so great about it.

Blessings and Cursings

The sexy computer technician fixed my computer. It's nice to have such a sexy computer technician to live with. Now, I just need to make him some stuffed jalapenos.

I went to a Ladies' Retreat this last weekend. It was just what I needed. It was actually something I helped to organize so I was a little stressed out going into it (and even secretly wanted to play hooky from it), but I am so glad I went. The theme was on being a blessing, and I was very convicted of how much I need to bless others. The definition of blessing is to bestow favor on someone. Our goal should be to help each person with whom we come in contact to realize the favor that God has for them. Whether it is a smile, a touch, a gift, an extension of grace, a kind word, a soft re-direction, etc., we should try to remind others of how important they are to God no matter who they are. One thing that really made an impact on me was hearing that criticizing others is the equivalent of cursing them. I had never heard that before, but the Bible verse makes more sense now when it says,  "How can blessings and cursings come from the same mouth?"

It really made me stop and think that I pride myself in the fact that I don't cuss people out, but I am a very critical person. In light of the new meaning of cursing, I have a tendency to bless people one minute and curse them the next, or to bless them to their face and curse them behind their back. This makes me a very fickle and unstable person. So, I am really going to try to be less critical of others and of circumstances.

I also learned that favor is not dependent on a person's behavior, and bestowing favor can actually transform undesirable actions into desirable ones. The Israelites blessed their children every week on the Sabbath from the time they were born until they grew up. They compared them to their ancestors and reminded them of their heritage. Can you imagine the difference this positive affirmation had on these Jewish children? I realized that I need to bless my daughter more instead of constantly correcting her. Not that correction isn't warranted, but when it is not mixed with blessing, it becomes criticism and is detrimental.

When I got home from the wonderful time at the Ladies' Retreat, my husband had surprised me with tickets to the Michael W. Smith concert (but I had already figured it out because I'm sneaky like that). It was so nice of him, and I had an amazing time. M.W.S. is one of the best facilitators of worship I have ever seen. I think I was getting caught up in analyzing the dynamics of the event instead of just participating in the event, but that is sometimes more fun for me. I like figuring out why things work the way they do in people's brains.

It has been a very busy month and will continue to be, but I promise I will do better at posting. So check back over the next couple of days to see a video of my Liberian friends singing and praying over me after hearing the news that I was cancer free and to read my grandmother's eulogy, written by my mother.

Saint Van

Today was my first day out of isolation. This morning Allika said, "Momma gets to act normal today."

So many things I could say about that.

I wish I had taken a picture of my little radioactive corner. Once I touched something, it became radioactive and couldn't leave the area I was in, so I was rapidly being taken over by dishes, laundry, trash, etc. It was good to get it all out of here today.

Allika came home Sunday night. We still had 3 days of "limited contact." She did really well, considering, but didn't like it one bit.

Our little doggy couldn't understand what was going on, either. We had to keep her in Allika's room because she would come straight to me if she was allowed out. It made it worse for her the nights that Allika was gone. She is happily stretched out beside me right now as I type.

Poor Van. Bless his heart. He had to do everything. It was hard for me to watch him running around like a chicken with its head cut off while I was perfectly capable of helping but couldn't. He got so stressed out. He had to take care of his normal duties plus cook, clean, take care of Allika and the dog, run errands, etc. I remember one time when he made breakfast, served me, fed Allika and got her ready for the day, started her schoolwork while he did dishes and cleaned up, worked with her until she was done, immediately started cooking lunch, fed me and her, didn't even have time to eat because he had to make some time-sensitive calls, cleaned up after lunch, and had to take care of other responsibilities with his job while trying to keep Allika occupied and away from me. The whole time, I'm just sitting in my corner reading a book.

Someday I will make a confession about the awful way I added to his stress by insisting he butter my toast as soon as it comes out of the toaster instead of waiting until it got cold.

I know. Ridiculous. It was not one of my proudest moments.

I did get rather cross sometimes sitting there, doing nothing. No excuses. Just keepin' it real here.

I got quite a bit of my booklist read. Do you know what that means? Lots of material floating around in my brain that has to go somewhere. And what better place than here with all of you, my lovely friends?

Van laughs when I read a book. It's probably a good thing I don't read more than I do. I have to share every profound thing I read with him. When I finish a book, I exclaim profusely over its goodness and insist that he read it, as well. This is because the book is making inroads into my thought processes and I want us to discuss these things and be on the same page together. It's relational. I do the same thing with my food.

"You've got to try this!!"

"I don't want to."

"Please just take a bite?"

"Tani, I'm fine with what I ordered."

"But you don't know what you're missing. It would mean so much to me if you would just try it."

He usually relents. Then, much to his chagrin, I like to try his, too.

Life is all about sharing and experiencing things together.

Raise your hand if you think Van's a saint.

And a Good Time Was Had By All

Here is a hodge-podge of my week. I probably should break this post down into several, or just spare you the ramblings all-together, but I'm not going to. I did, however, spare you all from a cute, little song I learned while growing up about getting wet and being bad and drinking tea. Even though it would have been very appropriate right about now.

We went canoeing this week. The last time we went canoeing, I was six months pregnant, and we didn't know how to do much of anything but run into the bullrushes. This time we did much better about not running into the vegetation. That's only because there was no vegetation. Instead, we were in a group and kept running into other people's boats.

I am not sure how much I should say about this whole thing or not. The whole subject is a very volatile one. It has something to do with who is better at handling a canoe than someone else, but that someone else doesn't think that is the case, and the who doesn't want to hurt the someone else's feelings (although the who was quite adept at telling the someone else everything he/she was doing wrong). So we will just leave it at that.

Van said if we got out of it alive and with our marriage in tact, we were never going canoeing again.

I found a wonderful recipe for CHOCOLATE DESSERT that I can eat on my low iodine diet. I am so excited. This is a very fun cake to make, and it doesn't take any eggs or milk. The cocoa powder is okay to have because it isn't milk chocolate.

Wacky Cake
1 1/2 cups flour
1 cup sugar
3 Tablespoons cocoa
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
5 Tablespoons oil
1 teaspoon white vinegar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup cold water
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Sift together flour,
sugar, cocoa, soda, and salt into an 8 x 8 inch baking
pan or dish. Mix thoroughly. Make 3 holes in the
dry ingredients. Place oil in first hole, vinegar in
second hole, and vanilla in third hole. Pour water
over all and mix well. Spread batter evenly in pan
and bake in the dish that batter was mixed in. Bake
30 minutes or until center is firm. Cool.

I made a frosting by getting Ghirardelli dark chocolate chips (they don't have dairy in them and are worth their weight in gold), about two tablespoons of non-dairy butter (I can't remember the name and I don't feel like getting up and looking in the fridge right now), and a little bit of coconut milk. I melted that concoction in the microwave and poured it over the cake...simply DIVINE!!!

I have had a lot of fun quilting with a friend this week. We went to a Minnesota Shop Hop a while back. It's where you get a "pass-port" with 85 quilt shops from all over Minnesota, and you try to hit them all and get a stamp. You can turn your passport in for all sorts of prizes that don't even come close to what you've spent in time and gas money. We ran into some real die-hard quilters. They had their R.V.s and were tooling all over Minnesota so they could fill their passports and get their prizes.

No, we did not go to all 85, you silly people! We only went to seven. Each shop gives you a different block pattern, a piece of Minnesota-themed material, and, if you spend $10.00, a charm for your bracelet. It's kind of silly, but I felt like I was on a treasure hunt. And if you're into quilting, it's so much fun to browse the shops. Quilts are actually magnificent pieces of art.

I am still working on the same quilt I've been working on for...ahem...two years now. It's a stack-and-whack. I've gotten all the blocks done; now, I'm just working on piecing everything together. I really wish I could work on it more because it is so relaxing and fun. Sometimes, while my machine is purring away, I think, "Wow. This is wonderful. Why don't I do this more often." Then, my life and my schedule smack me up-side the head, and I become ever so aware of why I don't do it more often. It's a shame, really.

Well, this is becoming very long-winded. My mother always said I had diarrhea of the mouth. So, I will just leave you with the link to the sermon I promised you a few weeks ago. It is one of my favorite sermons by my favorite preacher-man.